Bitches and Me!


Confused 2002  gouache 16 x 12 inches

          Confused (October 25, 2002)

          That was really scary

          Caught me by surprise.

          Now I’m having difficulty

          Distinguishing

         The truth from the lies. 

Well I already filled you in on how the women in my life growing up were definitely in the bitch category (when I was 13 my mother explained to my older sister, “She is just going through a gangly stage.”  And, my sister bitched to my mother about my hairy legs when I was 14, but never offered to show me what to do and I ended up cutting myself 17 times with my father’s razor!  Yeah I know it was pretty klutzy, but that is besides the point.  Oh - sorry to digress again...)

When I first got married I encountered so many bitchy women. I got married in London - in a hurry. Basically it was a corporate shotgun wedding (another story).  We didn’t have time for an engagement, let alone to get an engagement ring.  Matter-of-fact, I didn’t even get a new dress. (mental note to self - remember about giving dress to Nubia).  Soon after, “Oh Patricia, let me see your ring,” this woman gushed as she grabbed my hand.  She was a New Yorker working for NBC and this was in their tent at Wimbledon.  “Oh”, (deep breath while gazing in apparent rapture over my plain gold wedding band that we had picked up, used, at a jeweler on the way to the registry office). “It is soooo simple, just like you.” Hahaha.  I have never seen that woman again.  I wouldn’t recognize her if I passed her on the street, but I imagine she probably has big fake boobs and huge lips and is probably looking for her fourth husband.  (That doesn’t really narrow it down a lot here in NYC.)  I knew she was being bitchy to me - but I allowed her to make me feel bad:  What does she mean?  Simple?  Is my outfit wrong for Wimbledon?  Is it my hair?  Etc.  Unfortunately my husband, whose mother was not what you would call “sensitive”, told me that I was too sensitive.  So there I was feeling insecure and bad that I was too sensitive.  I am glad to report that I absolutely know I would handle it differently now!  Just try me. 


Having just moved from the U.S. to London, my husband and I were always trying to make friends.  We invited this couple over for dinner.  He was an American expatriate like my husband.  Anyway, he turned out to be an incredible jackass that insisted John Coltrane played the clarinet - and claimed to have seen him live 5 years after he actually died.  The whole long painful evening, they spoke bad French between themselves, which was odd since they were both from Detroit.  You know where I am going with this?  She was a total bitch.  Remember, I was 25 at the time.  One thing I know now is that older women tend to be bitchy to younger women because they feel insecure. But they forget how insecure they were when they were young.  (Because of my experience, I made an oath to myself never to be bitchy to a younger woman, but I digress…) 

I went out to the kitchen to clear the dishes before dessert and she came out and asked me,  “Don’t you just love the feeling of your hands in dishwater?” And, “Does housework take up most of your day?”  Then she took one of my hands in hers and declared, “I can tell you are an artist because these hands have worked!”  I am very proud to report that I, although insulted, was able to come back with a great response.  “Yes, me and Scarlet O’Hara.”  Then I went on with the dessert.  (In case you don’t remember or - gasp - never saw Gone With the Wind, there is a scene where Scarlet is all poor and has been picking cotton to save Tara (the plantation).  Rhett comes to see her and she is all spruced up in a beautiful green gown that she had Mamie (the faithful ex-slave) whip up from the parlor curtains.  Well, Rhett was not fool.  He took one look at Scarlet’s hands and knew she had been picking cotton.

That’s not all; there’s more.  My husband is a great guy.  He is really cute - but he has never cared about being a fashion plate.  He more like a poster boy for Brooks Brothers, but that is on a good day.  That night he was wearing a striped sweater, which wasn’t particularly fashionable at the time, to say the least...  Well, we went upstairs for coffee (so English) and this woman said to me in such a tone that I still cringe, “Oh, I love his jumper,” (sweater - but remember she was from Detroit) “Don’t you just find stripes to be a turn-on?”  Then she went on to say about a charcoal drawing I had done of him, “Oh, chills, you have captured his soul.”  Hahaha.  We still laugh about that one. 

Lost on King’s Road  1981

There were many other encounters with bitches that followed.  One woman greeted me with, “Oh Patricia, I didn’t realize that was you.  You look so good I didn’t recognize you.”  We still went to her wedding, because remember - I was too sensitive. I wore this cute short skirt and a matching jacket with my favorite white shoes with the little hearts on them.  She took me aside and told me she thought my outfit looked cute, “Especially with your man legs.”  What?  I still have a hard time with that one.

I have so many stories on this topic!

Why I Painted Three Women (early years)

More About Bitxhes (art bitches)

Overhead Smash (tennis bitches)

Why I Painted Three Women - Second Thoughts (2013)

originally published: August 25, 2009

© Trixie Pitts 2009